One of the Humorous Emails I Got This Month

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?”

Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, why not?”

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page onthe Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ….

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?”

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”

“You’re a Congressman for the U.S. Government”, says Bud.

“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”

“No guessing required.” answered the cowboy. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don’t know a thing about how working people make a living – or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.

Now give me back my dog.

Visitor Forum

Your Comments

For Individuals

Any person can announce and contribute to the website. We encourage you to post opinions, events, announcements and anything else you wish to share with others. These pages are highly optimized for search engines and get very good response for our publishers.

Feel free to post items in our free classified section. These ads get readership and results. Post your favorite photos too. We especially encourage you to post events to our calendar.

For Businesses

Any business can advertise, announce, and contribute to the website. Product and service specials, coupon offerings, and general marketing postings are welcome. Business must create a visitor account to make postings or promotions. This is a simple account needed to maintain and place postings.

Placement on our primary pages cannot be purchased. The businesses and places included on our site are determined by our Editors to be of pertinent interest to Lake Conroe visitors and residents. See Qualifications...

Area Events

  • March 22, 2018 – Buck Yeager
    8:00 pm, The Red Brick Tavern
  • March 22, 2018 – Davin James Special Show
    8:00 pm, The Corner Pub
  • March 22, 2018 – Josh Pitt
    9:00 pm, The Corner Pub
  • March 23, 2018 – The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
    8:00 pm, The Owen Theatre
  • March 23, 2018 – Justin Dyess Songswap
    9:00 pm, The Corner Pub
  • March 23, 2018 – Vance Gilbert
    9:00 pm, The Red Brick Tavern
  • March 24, 2018 – The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
    8:00 pm, The Owen Theatre
  • March 24, 2018 – Rachel Price
    9:00 pm, The Red Brick Tavern

Browse Visitor Forum

Featuring Top 6/142 of Visitor Forum